Finding old flames on Facebook and Myspace just to walk down memory lane may spark a fire or put it out!
This article explains how people use the Internet to look up old crushes and lovers and make friends with them on the net. These friendships can sometimes be a risk on a current relationship or just bring up old disputes.
One woman waited three months before she got in contact with her former boyfriend on Myspace and asked if they could be friends. While chatting he asked if she was seeing anyone else and she said yes. The boyfriend called her "'high maintenance" and deleted her showing that he was still mad at her.
Another woman found an old high school crush on Facebook. In 1974, he was captain of the football team, tall and handsome. Over 30 years later, he has a beard down to his belly and his accomplishment for the year was being the local darts champ.
What a 180 degree turn around!
One man in England said that his wife left him for an old high school sweetheart on Facebook.
Internet isn't the blame for these events, it's people who can't resist the temptation to look into the lives of people who they were once close to. I don't blame them for wanting to know what's changed, how they are doing, are they single and things like that. Yet I've a rule for myself that this article highly recommends for everyone.
Look, but don't make contact!
There could be hurt feelings that are still not resolved yet, see a change that is way over the top unexpected or possibly risk your current relationship.
Karen Gail Lewis, a marriage and family therapist in Cincinnati advises that if you do wish to reconnect with your ex online, tell your current spouse.
Also, it wouldn't hurt to even share your password and log in information with your mate to better strengthen your relationship and communication.
Finding this article, I believe has helped me sort out my own issues with speaking to an ex online. Over the summer, an ex of mine requested a friendship on Facebook, which made me mad and confused, but I accepted it anyways. Nothing wrong was ever said in our few online chats, but I didn't like them and was wondering why I was speaking to him. I'm still angry at him and I don't like the idea of him looking me up on Facebook and chatting with me casually.
I may just delete him off my friends list now! ^^
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Old Flames is the link to the article! Xp Sorry, it isn't very clear.
ReplyDeleteThis sort of hits a soft spot for me. The guy that I am dating now reconnected over 2 years ago on Myspace. We dated in junior high but ended things when we went to different high schools. Though we agreed to still be friends, we were both very busy in high school and never spoke or hung out. After we gradated in 2007, his mom and sister saw me at the place that I worked and later that day told him about it. He found me and Myspace, and we began catching up with one another on pretty consistent basis. We had dinner one night and hit it off. We kept hanging out because we enjoyed each other's company, and before I knew it, we were a couple again. That was back in August of 2007, and we are still together now. In my situation, I couldn't be happier that he reconnected with me through Myspace, however, I must say that there are MANY creepers on the web and I have deleted many of them off my friends list. I guess when it comes down to it, it's really hit or miss.
ReplyDeleteI have a few old infatuations in my friends list, one I'm glad I get to talk to once in a while and another I'm glad she doesn't use at all. The one I talk to I am glad to have a friendship with because we have a unique bond/understanding and I'm very supportive of her. I have absolutely no intent to be more than a friend because she's a married woman and living the life that she diserves. My girlfriend is well aware of this person but I don't believe she feels any mistrust or threat from her because we had already talked and she is completely fine.
ReplyDeleteIf anything, like stated above, talk to your current significant other about people you have been in a relationship with and let them know that the past is the past and has no effect on the present OR the future. Once that's behind you it's clear sailing!
I don't use MySpace or Facebook, although I apparently still have a page floating out there somewhere that hasn't been updated or looked at in 4 years, but I would imagine that what happens between old flames all depends on the couple and the people involved. Couples that had severe break-ups and were totally dysfunctional probably should not bother rekindling that flame, but for some, maybe they just need a while apart from one another to grow and realize that they were meant to be.
ReplyDelete